Afternoon Delight: Anatomy of a rubber game

What do you get with two teams who have split the first two of a three-game series? That’s right everyone … the rubber match is on.

We know Curt and Shonda know how to mug on a red carpet. We’re hoping he still knows how to pitch in a gray uniform.

OK folks, here’s how the big game in Baltimore - seriously, when was the last time you thought about a game in Baltimore being a big one - shakes out: the Red Sox roll out Curt Schilling (raise your hand if you knew his middle name was Montague!), only 6-5 with a 4.31 ERA in 16 starts.

But take a look at Schilling’s season, and it’s clear that ERA is significantly inflated by his two starts immediately after the aborted one-hitter, when his shoulder was strapped on with duct tape and his fastball was cruising in towards the plate like an ‘88 Olds in Del Boca Vista.

And who does the Big Schill have in the other dugout? The epic Steve Traschel, of course! And by epic, we mean very, very, very, very slow. Very slow. Forget about taking a toilet break during a Sox half of the inning, you could go to Home Depot and Boston would still be batting. If you combined a Traschel start with a weather delay, you might even end up with the first game that lasted longer than 24 hours. At least the first one that didn’t take place in a mythical novel by W.P Kinsella.

So what should Sox fans legitimately hope for? On top of a Yankees setback against Cleveland, of course. Well, by the sixth inning the Sox should be getting to Traschel, assuming they don’t fall asleep at the plate. If they can pull that off with Schilling allowing fewer than three SSS’s (Schilling solo shots), Boston should be in good shape. If they can’t, well, then they probably deserve to drop a game.

Unfortunately, they can’t really afford to drop any more borderline games. So, a vintage Schilling would be a very nice addition, particularly with Tampa Bay matchups against legitimate stud pitchers Scott Kazmir and Jamie Shields. And those come against Tim Wakefield and Jon Lester. Aye aye aye.

Allright Schilling, let’s see what you got amigo. How ’bout heat. Heat would be good right now.

– Cameron Smith