Holy God. Not only is Offerman still playing, he’s hitting new things.

This week’s sign that the apocalypse is upon us? Jose Offerman is still playing baseball.

Well, that was the sign before Wednesday. That’s when Offerman went AWOL, attacked a pitcher and catcher and was trekked off in a Bridgeport, Conn. police car. Freaky stuff.

Here’s the lowdown, from Connecticut Post Bluefish beat writer Rich Elliot:

The game was delayed for 17 minutes in the top of the second inning following the attack by Offerman. Offerman homered on the first pitch of the game by Beech. An inning later, he was hit on the left calf by an 0-and-1 cut fastball from Beech.

Offerman immediately charged the mound with his bat in his right hand. He struck Beech on the fingertips of both hands and hit catcher John Nathans on the back of the head on his backswing. Both benches immediately emptied.

Offerman, Beech and Bluefish manager Tommy John were ejected. Beech and Nathans were taken to Bridgeport Hospital to be examined. Bridgeport police took Offerman into custody.

Crazy, right? Here’s the closest thing anyone can get to video from the incident … an interview with Bluefish manager Tommy John. Yes, that Tommy John, of elbow surgery fame.

Tommy John and Jose Offerman in the same clip? That’s just eerie.

Of course, this isn’t the first blog to take note of the incident and roll our eyes in pure gall (make that roll our eyes twice, once at Offerman playing, a second time that he went Robin Ventura with a bat!). We grabbed notice of the incident from Boston.com’s Extra Bases blog and MassLive’s Red Sox Monster. Dan Lamothe, the inimitably obsessive man behind Red Sox Monster, points out that Deadspin,
With Leather, The Big Lead, and Pop Jocks all led with the mayhem.

But Lamothe himself may have the line of the night, when he goes through the Ducks lineup and notes - to all our horror - that one of Offerman’s teammates was none other than Carl Everett. Yes, the Dinosaur man himself. No longer tethered to Seattle, we see. So, let’s do the Long Island roster track record for a moment, shall we? Jose Offerman, Carl Everett, John Rocker? Nice to see that they’re investing in compassionate professionals out on the Island, isn’t it?

– Cameron Smith