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There were plenty of analysts trying to figure out what was wrong with Manny Ramirez over the first half of the season, so the entire laundry list of excuses came out: He was pressing. He was swinging too early in counts. He was facing more pressure because of Big Papi’s lack of power. He was dealing with a new hitting coach, and everyone knows that Manny doesn’t like change.
Finally, Sox fans can rest knowing what this year’s Manny “They really went and hired a new ball carrier” moment will be: promotional wristbands.
But everyone overlooked the true reason for his struggles: He was wearing the wrong wristband.
That’s right, Manny couldn’t hit because he was too busy pimping for - brace yourself here - his hairstylist. The world was first introduced to the man who manicures Manny’s impeccable dreadlocks in early June. That’s when, in the middle of an Arizona road trip, NESN sideline reporter Tina Cervasio was whisked into a hotel room by ManRam, who evidently was feeling a sudden urge to provide a window into the world of “Manny Being Manny.”
Ramirez took Cervasio to meet a young Dominican hairstylist from Boston who works under the name LMonstro. Evidently he travels, at least for Manny. And evidently he had such a profound impact on Manny’s life, that he got numero venti-quatro to wear this wristband - the black one in the photo below that says “LMontro 99″ in early July:
Manny loves him some LMontro.
More LMontro, more problems, and …
Just for good measure.
That’s right, thanks to the indisputable visual evidence from these photos from the AP’s Elise Amendola, we know that Manny Ramirez was wearing items meant to promote his hair stylist. Either that, or he’s just an incredibly confused Wayne Gretzky fan. It also proves that either Cervasio - and everyone who wrote about the interview after the fact - had the hairstylist’s name wrong, or Manny goes in for really cheap, custom made goods. Maybe he got a discount because they misspelled the guy’s name. Who knows. Makes you wonder what TPX - which pays ManRam to wear its gloves and wristbands - thinks, doesn’t it?
The way Manny was hitting, I certainly think we all know how Sox fans felt about it: take the damn things off.
— Cameron Smith
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