The Morning After: Like a nasty dominatrix

Admit it. In the fourth inning last night, you were thinking: “You know, the Sox are going to pull this one out! And when they do, it’ll feel even more rewarding because they will have had to rally to do it!”

Guess who was playing the role of the Yankees last night? Yeah, she’s the one with the whip.

Nice thought, crappy execution.

Instead of pulling off an inspirational come-from-behind victory in the Bronx, and salvaging a no-decision for the perennially unlucky Daisuke Matsuzaka, the Sox left the Dice-man on the mound an inning too long last night, and the Yankees left with a 5-3 win gratis a la former Sox center man and Idiot captain Johnny Damon.

That’s right, the Sox were done in by a man who could have served as inspiration for a Geico mascot turned CBS sitcom star. It’s a sad world, isn’t it?

Last night it wasn’t so much a sad world as it was a painful one. The Yankees rally the second time around was truly a killer. And as all Sox fans will be quick to profess, the last thing they want to do is let the Yankees back into the AL East race. That, of course, meant that winning two out of three in the Bronx would have all but shoveled fresh dirt on the NY grave. That would have certainly been enough to quell New England desires and aims on a division championship.

Not any more. Now, instead of needing just a two-game split to win the series, the Sox will have to get great performances from Josh Beckett and Curt Schilling to win the series. Suddenly, that looks significantly tougher.

Hey, if you’re going to get beaten by a divisional rival, you might as well try and enjoy it, right?

Of course, that’s not saying that won’t happen. It’s just saying it’s going to be tougher than the tails of that dominatrix whip that struck Boston ass last night.

Ouch.

– Cameron Smith